i love scandals!

Saturday, September 27, 2003

who the hell are the alien bloggers???? i think its very wu liao..

anyway..good morning angels... haha..

gotta get out of the house in 20 mins time.. need to go to work.. yet.. i start work at 9.30 and its only 8.55am now.. only left my hair to gel.. so i'll just blog for awhile..

hmm.. so last night was fun... sch ended at 6.00pm.. went to meet jillene and su an at bedok after that ...mel came.. and then amanda came... then we made our way to marina south for steamboat. yup.. there were11 in total when we met up... yup.. havent had such a big gathering for quiet sometime already... should do it more often ..cause its really fun.

i was having fun, but wasnt in the mood cause i was reall tired and was... u know....just not in the mood...

i realli thank the person up above for my friends who always seem to be there when i need a shoulder to cry on...

after steamboat , me, jilene, su an ,MEL and zac,we took the train down to the esplanade.. but instead, we walked over the merlion's side and sat there for a while.. it was really relaxing.. and a very good place for u to think about stuff..
it gives the mood to cry everthing out...

arGH..

we talked and talked... till around 1.15am.. then me... jillene and zac shared a cab back home. i reached home around 2 i guess... yup.. i had along day.. so i was really tired...

i need to go off to work now.. need to distract myself from thinking too much....

it really hurts. bring me someone who can take this pain away.

zenna boxed the green apple at 9:12:00 AM

Friday, September 26, 2003

good day y'all!

Invasion of the blog!!!WAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAA..........................screw the world u BITCHES!! wahahaha.....

**the alien bloggers**

zenna boxed the green apple at 1:52:00 PM

i am in sch now, not knowing how im supposed to be feeling ...

im caught up with mixed emotions.

i did my project till 6a.m this morning..... slept till around 930, then had to rush to sch to see the teacher at 1030 for project consultation for only half an hour. im waiting to meet my darlings jillene and su an at 12, which is in another 15 mins time.

i dont know what to do. lost. stuck. stoned.

damn.

this feeling is crap.

haha... my sonson asked my to join her at monks tonight.. haha.. its fun-neh... like after once, i like feel like going again.
haha.. id ont wanna go there and dance... i wanna just sit there adn stay out late, talk crap and "fish"..haha..

there are many fishes out in the see yar?? so.. yah... so. i wanna go "fishing", get myself out of this crappy feeling.

ZPQ.. u suck to the core.

haha.. sorry.. i just needed to say that.. vent out my fustrations.. i cant shout out in the lab u see.. haha..

ah qi...i hope u understand yar.. haha =)

im trying to get up from the fall... relax a little, and let time heal the wound.

cheerios for now hun-nehs... gonna meet 'sugar rae' and spicy jillene now..

zenna boxed the green apple at 11:59:00 AM

Thursday, September 25, 2003

i am in school now..its 4.28...ended lessons ard 3.30...met jillene and rendy at IT labs..lene was doing someting for her blog..rendy was busy...so i just sat there and stoned... haha..su an came after awhile, but we had to leave cause there was a class.. so.. now we're at the business lab..

im just waiting for time to pass... meeting my sonson in awhile at tm.. havent seen her.. kinda missed her.. yup...

wonder what we're gonna do later....

its a cold day today.. didnt bring my sweater out today...

ARGH.. i need to go home and do my work!!!!! arGhHHhHh.... ive got an IJ and my service reflection for my APEL.. i am. so.dead.. MAN!!!!!

and i may have a french test tmr!!!!!! i am dead. yep..

i'll blog later then.. see ya..

i miss her. its been 4 days..

and i am still waiting. patiently. and going mad. ahaha

zenna boxed the green apple at 4:33:00 PM

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

nobody knows
babyface
>>>>
'I pretended Im glad you went away
These four walls close in more every day
And Im dying inside
And nobody knows it but me

Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
And Im crying inside
And nobody knows it but me, yeah

Why didnt I say
The things I needed to say?
How could I let my angel get away?
Now my world is just a-tumbling down
I can say it so clearly
But youre nowhere around

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinking about the love that we had
And Im missing you
And nobody knows it but me, yeah

I carry a smile when Im broken in two
And Im nobody without someone like you
Im trembling inside
And nobody knows it but me

I lie awake
Its a quarter past three
Im screaming at night
If I thought youd hear me
Yeah, my heart is calling you
And nobody knows it but me

How blue can I get?
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle its been torn all apart
A million words couldnt say
Just how I feel
A million years from now, you know
Ill be loving you still

The nights are lonely (nights are lonely)
The days are so sad (oh, so sad)
And I just keep thinking about the love that we had
And Im missing you
And nobody knows it but me, yeah yeah

No one, no one
But me

Tomorrow morning, Im hitting the dusty road
Gonna find you wherever, ever you might go
And Im gonna unload my heart
And hope you come back to me

Yeah, sad when the nights are lonely

The nights are lonely (since youve been gone)
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinking about the love that we had (and Ill be missing you, baby)
And Im missing you (I always thought that youd be at my side)
And nobody knows it but me, yeah
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

zenna boxed the green apple at 11:48:00 PM

morning world. its 9.25, just woke up, need to go to sch, but i need to blog first, or i'll go out of the house feeling like a mad woman.

i am in a state of 'shock'... u'll never guess what happened last night..

the onli thing that i was hoping that wouldnt happen happened..

i am full of hatred for her right now.

she MADE me fall... and cause of the 'fall'... im like so hurt right now...

how the hell can one person change her feelings in just one night??

one minute she's treating u so nice and warmly.. the next minute, she becomes a fucked up bitch.

the more i think i about it, the more pissed i am.

but obviously, i am sad. duh.

am gonna meet her later around 6 to fucking slap her face. no, no...i mean..to slap her fucking face.
its someting that i so feel like doing, but dont think im as fucked up as her to do it to her...

think i'll just speak my mind and tell her what she's missing out on, and make her regret.

either that or i'll talk sense into her and make her take back what ever shes said.

im not letting this go yet cause there's still a glimmer of hope in her ...

i mean..come on... ive put in 100 percent, and this is what im supposed to get in return?

no.

i had already given in all my efforts.. and was ready to 'go the distance' and see where this was gonna take us.. but that asshole have to spoil it all..

YOu know what.. its not that i dont understand what u're going through.. i do.

have u ever spared a thought for me???

is this really how u want everything to end????????

i mean, we DID have wonderful times together, and the most recent one was on SATURDAY, the day BEFORE SUNDAY when ur attitude suddenly changed.

that is something i cannot understand.
it is scary.

at the beginnging of it all, i was unsure if i should let myself fall whole-heartedly..but everyday, the more i see u and spend time with u, i allowed myself to, cause you made me feel as though i realli meant alot to you...

time and time and again, when i needed security, u even ensured me, and told me not to think silly thoughts...so feeling all ur assurance, i allowed myself to fall even deeper.

ive fallen so hard that its so difficult for me to get up now . this fall really hurts. i am hurt. my heart's aching. realli badly.

firstly, i was "torn between two lovers"..and was in a "dilemma"... then i was "falling".. from falling, u told me, "dont wanna lose u now".. and u even asked "will u wait for me"... while time passed and i fell deeper, u even asked " if i asked would u say yes?"... i fell so into you and even told u "i wanna be with you".. i told u how much "i want you".. and also told u that i "cant let you go"...

this very moment, im listening to the very most recent song that you've sent me.. ah du's 'tian tian kan dao ni'.... U should know the lyrics...

haha.. im like listening to the song and im like going.. what the fuck??? this and all this is happening?? hai...

baby.. i realli loved you.

im onli hoping now that later when i see you..things would turn out differently... please make it happen.. i dont wannt lose you.

U SHOULD know how much u mean to me yar????

zenna boxed the green apple at 10:04:00 AM

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

today...hmm...it was a nice day...

went to sch at 12.30..met the tutor for some project thingy till onli bout 1.. then.. guess what?? i ended sch!! haha..

there's no sch for me tmr... cause no more lectures and stuff.. sooo shiok... but... hai.. pROJECTS!! arGH.. nah.. i think i'll be meeting them around 11 in the morning.. then do till about 3 onli lar.. cause shui yi says she wanna watch movie.... so.. i'll be free form 3 o clock onwards!!! ANYBODY wanna jio me out??? i am one lonely girl tomrrow!! muahhahahaha.. but seriously... im so gonna be lonely tmr...

why is my neck feeling so crampy suddenly?? its realli hurting man... oucHhHH....ahhh.. so achy..

newaes..just came back from 85.. had bak chor mee.. sweet and sour pork..a little bit of stingraE..haha... and i had tang yuan for dessert.. which means that dinner was .......YUM-MEH... haha....

im gonna watch tv now... and i feel like crapping.. all thanks to jillene... i just remebered her saying just now while we were walking to the bus sop tt she wanted to carp..man.. its making me feel like crapping too... ArGHhHhhh.. *luN*...=)

beyonce and sean paul
>>> baby boy

"Baby boy you stay on my mind
Fulfill my fantasies
I think about you all the time
I see you in my dreams

Baby boy not a day goes by
Without my fantasies
I think about you all the time
I see you in my dreams

Picture us dancin real close
In a dark dark corner of a basement party
Every time I close my eyes
It's like everyone left but you and me

In our own little world
The music is the sun
The dance floor becomes the sea
Feels like true paradise to me."

zenna boxed the green apple at 9:04:00 PM

Monday, September 22, 2003

MAN..im running a fever.. dont feel too well...sore throat and my body's aching...

i feel that my baby's treating me differently..maybe im just too sensitive.. but ... the feeling just too strong.. for the past two days, i havent had a nice conservation with her.. when we online, her replies dont sound good... i dun wanna think so much... but i just cant help it..

ive been putting in alot for the past 2 mths 11 days... i just hope that its not gonna end anytime soon...

she made me fall for her... and ive really fallen deeply... so deep that its gonna be hard for me to let go i guess...

i wanna be prepared for the day when its all gonna end.. i dun think i'll be able take it if it happens too suddenly..

baby.. i love it when u show that you care so much for me, and tell me all the nicest things tt i love to hear...

but it really sucks when ur mood suddenly changes making me feel as though i dont even mean the smalllest bit to you... it sucks... u make me feel so lost..

its times like that which makes me feel so tempted to let go... but i never did... i always tell myself that u have ur reasons.. so i gotta be understanding and just let it pass...hoping that u'll feel better and treat me nicely again...

i bet u know that it has been happening yar...

on those night when i feel sad, i think about all the nice things uve said and done.. it really makes me feel so much better...

ive been telling u how much ive been missing u and how much u mean to me... but u dun seem to bother, or even care.. maybe ive said too much?

at this point of time, im feeling insecure again... actually.. the insecurity has always been there... i dun want my efforts to go to waste u get it??

pLeaSE tell me when uve had enough of this... i dun wanna be loving someone who doesnt love me.. i dun see a point in tt...

man..there's just something about u that makes me so NOT wanna let this all go...

baby..i am so into u... im hoping that ure feeling the same way too..

i realli need to know...

zenna boxed the green apple at 6:52:00 PM

b2k>>>
gots to be

"Listen
I don't want you love nobody but me
You and me can do almost anything
(Gots ta be the one you want)
Gots ta be the one you want
(Gots ta be the one you flaunt)
You cant get mad at nobody but me
In fact I'm the only one you can receive
Gots ta be the one you want (ooohhh)
Gots ta be the one you flaunt (yeahhh)

Gots ta be the one that make you sad (Gots ta be Yeah)
Gots ta be the one you neva had (O)
Gots ta be the one that you want so damn bad (Gotta be everything to you)
Gotta be, Gotta be. Gotta be your everything (Girl you don't really understand)
Gots ta be the one you fight
Gots ta be the one that makes it right
Gots ta be the one you don't like half the time
Gotta be, Gotta be, Gotta be your everything yeah"

zenna boxed the green apple at 2:50:00 AM

Sunday, September 21, 2003

eLLo .... i just came back...
i finally watched pirates of the carribean... haha..went with dae..met her at 6.30 at tm.. yup.. nice show.. u guys shld watch...

then went for pastamania after tt..erm..9 plus??

yup.. i need to go do my project now.. tmr must hand up.. arGh... this sucks..

did not meet her today....

absence makes the heart go fonder?? it works me me.. hopefully.. it works for her too..

i feel like drinking beer. just a crave.

shity..tmr gotta do project in sch again... sucky. yucky

i wanna be IN relationship...

haha.. i know this is gonna be crappy... but this is really how im feeling...hahaha.. this is crappy... here goes.. haha

brtiney spears
>> dont let me be the last to know

[My friends say youre so into me
and that you need me desperately
They say, you say, were so complete
But I need to hear it straight from you
If you want me to believe its true
Ive been waiting for so long, it hurts
I need to hear you say the words, please

Dont- dont let me be the last to know
Dont, hold back just let go
I need to hear you say
that you need me all the way
Oh, if you love me so,
dont let me be the last to know

Your body language says so much
Im feeling the way you touch
till you say the words, not enough
cmon and tell me youre in love, please

Dont- dont let me be the last to know
Dont hold back just let it go
I need to hear you say
that you need me all the way
oh, if you love me so,
dont let me be the last to know]

--------------------

haha..im so cute right.. britney spears...haha

zenna boxed the green apple at 10:32:00 PM

im telling u..stop pushing me man!!!! do not force me...
its gonna be difficult.. but i will.... i am so sick of this... so tempted to just let this go...

i dont wanna. but i might.

if this is gonna carry on... im getting sick of it...

fucked up and screwed up....

ass. this sucks. damn..........

ARGH....

where the hell am i heading to?? kaoz..

zenna boxed the green apple at 3:25:00 PM

hahahahaha.... yeah man!! i went 'cheonging' yesterday!! hahahahaha!! MY FIRST TIME...

well.. it was nice... i mean... it was an experiece lar..yup.. and i danced!! i was shy.. but when u're like there... aiyah... 'heck ar!!' haha..
hope my dancing wasnt gross man.. so shy can..

i love the the dance i had with mel.. haha.. it was all our fav songs man!! haha..spice girls- spice up ur life.. lady marmalade.. nice.. yup.. oh yah.. haha.. and britney spears-- slave for u!! haha..lala... so nice!!

of cos.. i had a great time with jillene, su an, zac too... of coz.. my baby too..

i was dancing with ah qi.. it was... niCE.. yup..realli... yeah yeah... we danCEd together.. so cute can.. i was..erm.. shy.. but, as i said..'heck lar'... =)

they came over to my place to stay after that..erm...430 a.m?? we're all like shagged today man... realli lor...

went for bak chor mee just now...just came back not long ago... with the usual.. jillene, mel and su an, zac came along too... it was fun... but was just that we were all tired..haha..

tot my baby was gonna stay for awhile.. but she didnt..she came.. then went off with her friend.... =(

nvm.. hopefully i'll be meeting her tmr..

guys.. i had a wonderful time with u all... yup.. we should do this more often.. :)

this is for U:

[ Never ever wanna let you go
Tell me what you're feeling, cause I want to know
If you're around, you know I'm down
I'll be that girl that keeps you around
I'm only here, just because
It feels good, say enough to keep you right
Believe your love
I never thought you'd be the one that make me shine
brighter than the sun
There ain't no ups and downs
No winning out, you're here right now

If you want me to stay, I'll never leave
If you want me to stay, we'll always be
If you want me to stay, love endlessly
If you want me to stay, if you want me to stay
I'll never leave you ]

>> lumidee,busta rhymes,fabolous
never leave you (uh-oh)
-------------------------------------------------------------

HEYS...LET ME KNOW YAR..

zenna boxed the green apple at 12:18:00 AM